Let's Talk about Friendship

Let’s talk about friendship. I’ve been having stimulating discussions and thinking about this for these past two months. In Cambridge Advanced Learner’s Dictionary, friend is defined as a person whom you know well and whom you like a lot, but who is usually not a member of your family; someone who is not an enemy and whom you can trust. This definition is very lacking. It implies a one-way relationship.

Let’s say, I think that I’ve known someone well, like him a lot, and trust her; but he doesn’t really know me, she doesn’t really like me, and he seldom shares his feelings, would I regard her as my friend? I can’t clap without two hands.

Being a true friend is extremely challenging. I’ve found fake friendships for a few times. There are people who try to be my friend because they have a hidden agenda. Basically, it is very obvious that they are just using me. Some others become my friends because they are friends of my friends. They make friend with me not because of who I am. They have a relationship with me simply because of my friends.

Recently I also shared with my sister that hanging out together, laughing together do not show the depth of a relationship. These just make us feel close. Please underline feel. It’s only a feeling: feel close. I conclude this from my own experience. We might often go out together, laugh together, and have fun together without truly knowing each other.

To think back, I guess I myself have never been anyone’s true friend, even though I do regard a few people as my true friends. I wish I could be… One day…

Greater love has no one than this,
that someone lay down his life for his friends.
John 15:13

What Is A Friend?
by Kit McCallum

A friend is someone you hold dear: Someone who is always there, through thick and thin; Someone who is only a phone call away. A friend is someone you can always rely on: Someone who is there to share your thoughts with; Someone to listen, no matter the subject. A friend is someone you can feel comfortable with: Someone you can sit silently beside, without conversation; Someone you do not need to fill the quiet moments with. A friend is someone you can trust: Someone who will guard your deepest secrets; Someone who will never let you down. A friend is someone who is not judgmental: Someone who will gently offer advice and opinions, Yet, someone who is not overbearing or critical. A friend is someone who can keep you grounded: Someone who can help you see through your obstacles; Someone to shoulder you through life's trials. A friend is someone who shares unconditionally: Someone to laugh and to cry with; Someone to lean on, through both the good and the bad. A friend is someone you choose wisely, For a friend is your own mirrored image: Someone to compliment your own self; Someone who indicates who you are as a person. A friend.... is what you are to me.